Confused about Fiance ?

I thought my fiance was my soulmate, but now I%26#039;m not too sure anymore. Everything was wonderful in the beginning then after a year things started changing slowly. He stopped being romantic(flowers %26amp; cards)but I still continued my part of the romance(lingerie %26amp; etc..) Now I feel unappreciated by him, he has his place I have mine, I cook every weekend for him, and help him clean , and do his laundry , on top of doing my own.And it%26#039;s like he just expects it now every weekend. My weekends are so boring, i would rather stay home by myself. But then he gets mad if I want to stay home. I dont know what to do, I talk to him about it but it does%26#039;nt mean anything to him. I love him, but I think our realtionship is slowy fading. It%26#039;s not only the flowers or cards, He forgot our 2 yr anniversary this year, but remembered it last year. All of this just gets to me, like little signs, he%26#039;s not for me..Can someone tell me what I%26#039;m doing wrong? Any advice , thanks

Confused about Fiance ?
I think it can still work for you because it sounds really similar to what I was going through before we moved in together. It%26#039;s hard living in 2 different places. There were so many days that I just wanted to stay home because I was sick of working all week %26amp; dealing with traffic %26amp; then driving to his place on this never ending cycle. He had a much more relaxed schedule %26amp; I started feeling like I was doing everything. Now that we live together, it%26#039;s much easier. I have relaxed a lot. He would also get really upset if I wanted to stay at my place on a Sunday or whatever. But, if I came here, he had tons of people over %26amp; everybody wanted to eat. Guess who%26#039;s cooking? Anyway, now that this is my place too, I%26#039;m here all the time so when people come over on the weekend, it%26#039;s not that big a deal.





As for the anniversary %26amp; flowers, most guys don%26#039;t really keep that up. I still get them but only when I have an attitude %26amp; he doesn%26#039;t know what he did wrong LOL!





The cleaning %26amp; laundry issue is something you%26#039;ll have to stop on your own. For example, I moved my Mom in with us %26amp; she just goes in my room %26amp; does my laundry. I asked her to stop a million times but she still does it. Well, I got used to it. Now if she doesn%26#039;t do it, I%26#039;m like . . . why are my clothes dirty? Ha ha! I%26#039;m totally capable of doing it myself but you just get used to certain things.
Reply:Sounds like you are doing too much for him and he is now taking it all for granted. Why are you even helping him clean and do laundry when I assume he is perfectly capable of doing it for himself?? I think the relationship is just now past the honeymoon phase which is why things are not quite as romantic on his part as they used to be. Just talk to him about it and hopefully he will put more effort into the relationship as he did in the past. The relationship is not fading but the effort is...it happens and can be fixed.
Reply:All these happening just 1 year into the relationship? That%26#039;s really premature don%26#039;t u think? I think for me this %26#039;stopped being wonderful like in the beginning%26#039; stage only started like 7-8years into our relationship, but even so now in our 12th year together, it isn%26#039;t even as bad as your situation. I really think you shouldn%26#039;t waste your youth on this undeserving man. Move on, you WILL find your soul mate. One who won%26#039;t treat u like a maid.
Reply:It sounds like you have given 100% and he is taking both advantage of it and also does not feel the same way. People change and relationships change and when one person does what i call too much, it actually hurts the relationship because it takes all the work off the other and then become too complacent in the relationship.





Back off and watch him to see what his reaction is and then make strong decisions that are in your best interest.
Reply:The first thing you did was confuse your fiancee with your husband. He got all the benefits of playing house with no committment. Why would he bother trying.





Next time find a man that loves you for you, not what you can do between the sheets. Then become engaged and learn even more about him. Then save the sex for marriage.
Reply:Speaking as a couples therapist, don%26#039;t blame yourself. All relationships change over time, but you two really need to negotiate this stage of your lives.





Try this helpful guide to get the spark back:





Romantic Ideas:


http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/romanti...
Reply:Well just sit down with him and tell him you want and expect more and that maybe you two are just growin apart and maybe you should take some time......and do that....take some time.If he wants you back he will put in the effort to get you back.Good luck I know this must be hard.
Reply:It sounds like he%26#039;s doing everything wrong not you. I%26#039;m kind of in the same boat as you. The only thing is my fiance%26#039;s daughter (who is 18) seems to never be wrong about anything.
Reply:Couples counseling. Alos he might have depression.
Reply:Just stay distant for a while....let him miss you a little.....just give yourself time to be alon so you can relly things over...and give him time to see what he will loose
Reply:He%26#039;s just using you as his skivvy! Move on and find someone who appreciates you. Good luck.
Reply:You are too sentimental and he has you line hook and sinker.. Take a step back and let a bit of fresh air.. Dont be so intense.. If it doesnt work.. Move on.. There are more men to be had..
Reply:Can anyone tell you what youre doing wrong? Well lets start that off by ......... STAYING IN THIS RELATIONSHIP!!! Thats what youre doing wrong.





He is using you. He gets mad at you not wanting to come over on the weekends because then he would have to clean his place and do his laundry. How does it feel to be a servant to this man?





You say you still love him. But it dont sound like he loves you one bit. If he did, he would APPRICIATE YOU!!! Thats what love is. Sounds to me that he is just using you for his benefit. Do his cleaning, laundry and he gets his rocks off too..... What a guy. This is the kind of guy you love? Hmmmmm





RUN AWAY!!!! GET OUT!!!!! Take care of yourself!!!!
Reply:men are just nerds. When they feel secure like they have you then they dont think they need to try anymore. Stop doing his laundry for him, he is a big boy he can do it. Stop wearin lingerie etc. play little games of cat and mouse to keep him interested. Tell him you are going to go hang out with the girls this weekend. Whether they admit it or not men love the chase. now dont make it so bad that he thinks he%26#039;s lost you or you%26#039;re not into him anymore. Just a little play to keep his interest.
Reply:Welcome to the real world! Most men at first are at their best, they do this to win you over. Once they caught you they tend to relax and not work so hard for your affections anymore. This can be so frustrating for a woman. And it can make a woman resentful for doing things for him. Stop doing his laundry and his cooking, you are beginning to sound like a wife and mother. Women who give it all before marriage give their men no incentive to one day marry or even try on keeping the relationship alive, in fact what happens is that a man begins to view his woman as a pushover, a mother, a wife, you are no longer that girlfriend he worked so hard to pursue. There is no challenge anymore, you do so much for him he is secure in your love for him.
Reply:Talk to him about direction of relationship. That if it will continue going that direction , the direction of growing apart then it is best to cut it. You want more out of your relationship and he is not willing to work on it and put his heart into it then you deserve someone better for you.



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